I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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