Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
