Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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