He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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