I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize