The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
