I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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