think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
