NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
