I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
