JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
