oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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