How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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