Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
