I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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