Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
