I need help removing her.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
