im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize