Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This baby is an asshole
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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