yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
