5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
