I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
