"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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