Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
BRING THE BAGELS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
