All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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