dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
