So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
