We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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