margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize