He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
