It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
