So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
