She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
