Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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