maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
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Do you remember whose house we're in?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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