THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
