u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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