im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
