speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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