handjob tips. give me some.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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