Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's always time for handjobs
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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