not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
