I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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