So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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