apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
