I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
honey bunches of taint.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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