I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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