Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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