Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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