I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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