Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he high fived his dick after we had sex
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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