ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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