Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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