ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
