Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize