if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
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Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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