Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
