how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm really busy with my period
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