One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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