I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
