but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
