do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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