you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
