Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I didn't notice because vodka
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
