plz talk dirty to me
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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