I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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