Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
